


I'll Huff and I'll Puff, But You Blow A Lot of Smoke

by aHostileRainbow



Series: Mostly BAMF: A Collection of Small Fries Kicking Ass (Literally or Figuratively) [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Bilbo Baggins, Cultural Differences, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aHostileRainbow/pseuds/aHostileRainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ask a stupid question, get a surprisingly sharp answer. Or, Bilbo Explains Some Basic Facts to the Dwarves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Huff and I'll Puff, But You Blow A Lot of Smoke

For the first time since he had been accepted amongst the company after facing Azog, their burglar sat entirely still and silent and did not smile. Instead, he looked calmly at Nori as he considered the question. From their central spot by the fire, the quiet seemed to spread until all the company was watching the hobbit uncertainly.

When Bilbo finally smiled, it was small and sad.

"Of course you know nothing of hobbits, Master Nori. Dwarves are not known for their respect of other races' customs."

Several of those nearby bristled at this slight, opening their mouths to argue, but Bilbo's sharp, oddly cool gaze swept over them all without any of the befuddled affection they had become accustomed to.

He spoke again, quiet but clear, "You know nothing of hobbits, as you would know nothing of men or elves if you had your way. In the months that I have traveled with you, I have been expected to adapt solely to dwarfish customs and any ignorance I showed of your famously secretive and isolated race has been treated as either an insult or a personal fault."

There was no accusation in Bilbo's tone, only clinical observation, and it could not be said whether it was the chill this caused in their bones or sudden shame that held them silent. Bilbo watched them all in turns, still strangely remote, but began to soften at the continued quiet and palpable uncertainty. The visible sorrow wracking his younger friends among the company particularly contributed to his next words.

"I do not mean to upset you, my friends." Bilbo smiled more normally upon the rising eyes.

"You simply must understand that your customs are not the only customs, for I would not see stubborn ignorance cause you grief amongst less patient folk. Hobbits do not welcome conflict, we will in fact go to great lengths to avoid it, and we pride ourselves on our hospitality. That does not make it acceptable for thirteen strange dwarrows to arrive unexpected and uninvited to a home, very late in the evening, and proceed to raid the host's pantry. That does not make it alright for those dwarrows to ignore every question or protest from their host, or to toss the special china that is his only connection to his mother through the air in a drunken game."

Bilbo tried to keep his tone light, but did not miss the winces at that last.

"I understand by your customs that this is neither unusual nor crude behavior, but by hobbit custom, in a hobbit home, with a hobbit host, it is the height of disrespect."

Bilbo observed the mix of white and red faces around him and continued, soft and ruthless, because some instinct told him this point was more important than even his personal hurts - or theirs.

"I hope I have never made you feel so disrespected. Even on our first meeting, I hope you'll remember that I never turned anyone away and I did do my best to feed and shelter you once you were in my home, though it cost me my own dinner," Bilbo concluded very dryly and Dwalin had the grace to blush, recalling the plate of delicious fish he had set himself to without so much as a by your leave.

Bilbo chuckled and completed the thought, "I have certainly done my best to accept and adapt to your customs, as odd as they seem to me at times, and as poorly as some of my tries have turned out."

He looked away for the first time, sadness returned to his face.

"Explanations of your customs and expectations would have been helpful, though. Or even a little patience, a little understanding that your customs are not my own, and that that difference did not somehow make me lesser."

For several breaths, he did not look at them, but he finally turned back to conclude solemnly, appreciating that unwavering dwarven focus for once as it kept their attention on him even as his thoughts wandered.

"Yours is not the only race to walk the land, or to be gifted with secrets. The customs of my people may be foreign to you, but that does not make them or me less than worthy of respect. You must understand that the slight you feel at any criticism of your traditions is not unique to you - a hobbit may feel so slighted as easily as a dwarf might, or a man, or an elf. Ignorance is rarely a defense. Dwarves are often ill-received, I understand, not because of your race but because you are rather famous for not caring to even hear of the customs of the other races that host you, let alone adapt to them. I mean no insult, but it would not hurt you to consider showing others' history and practice a fraction of the respect you show your own."

Bilbo broke off with a sigh, sheepishly concluding, "Now look at this, me all set to lecturing. My apologies, Master Nori. Please, ask any questions you have of hobbits and I will do my best to answer what I can."

His original questioner only stared for a breathless moment and then grinned, easy and false, "Of course, Master Baggins. I was curious about your habit of taking seven meals a day. Where does it all go?"

That at least earned some laughter from all gathered, as they shook themselves from the stupor of their hobbit's unexpected lesson. It was decided that Nori's example would be followed and no one outwardly acknowledged the strange break in their peaceful evening of rest in Beorn's home.

They had time to think, and to wonder, and to apologize, but later. Right now, their hobbit was waiting for questions and they were more than ready to oblige.

Even stone can be weathered with time and patience.


End file.
